handover

haha... handover yesterday. it was gd lah, i guess. dressing suddenly damn shen. dunno y. nvm. its still gd. just seeing geoff recieving the red sash, a lot of thoughts rushed thru me. like, no more the mas and now the ss2. quite a gd feeling. but a lot of burdens also lah. emotional, mental, a lot lah. just felt like crying. dunno y. its just like,i almost cried today during worship in church. dunno y. just so many emotions runnign thru me lah.

i think geoff will do a gd job lah. but very fun to suan him. xD. 'hey, dun be so happy tt u forget we still hv re.' hehe. u shld hv seen his expression. damn farny. just finished our re ppt today. sigh. wrote the script for re ppt, then tmr have to do script for math pt ppt. sianz. writing scripts.

singspiration. dunno lah, just so many things gg thru my mind tt even singspiration is also not very exciting. yet. i mean, its one of the things tt i looked forward to when we take over. like, just at the front, helping to praise god, leading the worship, be it worship leader or musician. thinking abt it today. its like, its a gd thing tt god has put me here. now with singspiration, its like, my involvement in 60th is more spiritual, which is gd, i guess. wif aq and all tt, sth we just forget abt god in our lives. yup. just praying tt He will jsut be able to guide us.

thinking abt it as i slept last nite. i noe tt god always has a message for me whenever i go thru sth. i may have learnt a lot of things thru this episode, but there has still been sth tt has not been removed and its like, troubling me. talking to cheekeen yesterday over dinner wif geoff. a lot of things mentioned, but i think in a way i realised sth tt came out when i was thinking last nite. it is easier to forgive, to love, then to hate. it happened to me in primary sch, and i left cat high with an enemy, and only this yr have i forgiven him. do i want this to happen as i leave ri? i think not. so thank god for ppl like cheeks. jsut learnt so much lah. all those feelings. its like, i was blaming everyone around me. my frens, my seniors, my juniors, myself, even my teachers and the officers council. maybe if i learnt to forgive and forget, i could have saved myself the pain of all tt. the pain of hatred. it was like, i was stabbing myself lah. true, other ppl may be at fault, but what happned has happened. cannot think too much abt it. else i would just be hurting myself more and more. now i understand how ppl can depress themselves til they jump off buildings. sigh

haha. checked. i am no 11 for smo senior section in ri, which means all the s3s and 4s. not bad, rite? damn sad case. i counted. the score was the total score of 1st and 2nd round. if they just counted the 1st round alone, i would have got 5th in ri!!! no... xD. dunno lah, just call myself too n00b lah.

talked to daryl also. set down my expectations, what i expect to achive for the sq, and so on. hope i made myself clear. but i will be hard on daryl lah. guess i wil expect a lot from him. its a joy and a burden lah, the sq. so much i can do and so much i can destroy. nvm. time to reform the sq. after a yr of slacking and almost no sq activity, time to revive it. the hardcore sq2, who has been in it since sq2, must revive the spirit i saw when i was sec1. MUST. ok... maybe more hardcore lanners, but still got discipline, k?

my birthday...

saw it on zach's blog. this is psycho

Your Birthdate: September 17

Your birth on the 17th day of the month suggests that you are very lucky financially, because this date indicates a solid business sense. Although you are probably very honest and ethical, this birthday enables you to be shrewd and successful in the world of business and commercial enterprise. You have excellent organizational, managerial, and administrative capabilities enabling you to handle large projects and significant amounts of money with relative ease. You are ambitious and highly goal-oriented, although you may be better at starting projects than you are at finishing them. A sensitivity in your nature, often repressed below the surface of awareness, makes it hard to give or receive affection.

festival of praise

went on sat after parade. 5 of us in my father's car. oops. me, daryl, ben, jared and zach. damn squeeze. reach there, then see the frigging long queue. oops agian. sigh. queue for how long, then they say cannot already. boo hoo. then shawn went like"y do we even need to come here to worship god?" in his fake righteous behaviour then dezhi said in his half gay voice "no, no, no. we r not here to worship god. we r here to worship darlene." ppl within 5 m range looked at us. then we started lauging like siao and asking him to scram. 10 m radius.

they gave us a piece of paper saying we came and told us to be there at 6 on sunday. got hillsong cd also. :D

so went tehre on sunday. wow. they actually gave those who went on sat an entrance, like confirm get one. with me were jappy, nat, chong zheng(some classmate of ben khoo), kean yung, andre, cheeks, ben khoo, his sisters and the exchange ppl from germany with her. gates opened. chionged in. found a seat at northeast. not bad. on the platform. rather gd view. zach and his church ppl got to see the arses of the ppl on stage. haha.

so it started. got hillsong first. rather gd. then delirious. sigh. tt grp damn rock. not tt i have sth against worshipping in tt style. i feel tt we can sing in anyway we want as long as our intentions r there. however, its just like those ppl were screaiming those words w/o seeing the meaning behind them. sigh. then i got the feeling some ppl there were worshipping them, not god, as andre put it. its rather sad, tt satan could still manifest in such a place. sigh.

then the message. i couldnt really concentrate, dunno y. its like, maybe i was too tired or sth. but i noe tt it was sth abt evangelism. interesting. but some ppl behind us were like... "so this is how they have sex". wtf!!! it was like, i turned aroudn and saw them looking at a phone. a porn movie? we were like thinking, in such a place like this?? then they went on to talk abt things like kissing. nvm.

then tehy asked all the non-believers who wanted to believe in god to come forward. a lot of ppl went. very inspiring. then they told us they extend for one hour cos its last nite, and we were like, whee!!! the best song of the nite was undoubtly everyday. so many ppl jumped tt even thoguh u dun jump, u still move up and down. get it? the platform was shaking. :D

sigh. left at 11 wif a hoarse throat. had to leave half an hour earlier. so sad. boo hoo hoo.

freak

gragg.... FUCK FUCK TAMADE TAMADE

ok... tt was me venting out what i have to... some ppl might have observed tt im a bit depressed over sth lately. yupz. not gd. cos of tt guy. at first it was alright, then tt must happen. then the problem hit me back full swing again. freak him. y must he be so... grrr....

dun understand what i just said? u r not supposed to. yup. nvm. dun worry abt me. i will learn to get rid of it. pray, whatever. freak sia. just went dota today to get rid of all the stress. death prophet rox. yup. exorcism.