restoration

today went for prayer meeting. prayed together with joash b4 that. at first, it was meant to be more of a time of prayer for the cell group, but guess God moved in a different direction and God just spoke to us about our individual struggles to see His will be done. its like, i know that God is doing something in me, i know what He is doing in me, but i just fail to see how all these things that He is doing in me will lead to the big picture. God really spoke to us about faith and our need to wait upon Him and persevere thru. after the prayer, i just felt there was something new being sparked off in me, which is a really great break from the spiritual dryness that i have been experiencing

prayer meeting was great too. felt God's presence there and just feel so restored and renewed now...

When my world was in darkness
You spoke Your word
Night turned into day
Your beauty filled this place

When my world stood in silence
You filled my heart
Eith songs that never end
Forever I will praise

To think that the universe
Could not withhold Your glory
You choose to live in me
I'm so amazed

(And) I worship you lord
My life in You restored
Here is my heart
Make it Your sanctuary
For nobody else
But Jesus only (You)

You are faithful and true
Glorious Lord
All my life
It is you I adore
You've touched my soul
Completed my world I surrender to you

valentine's day...

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

- John 3:16

somehow, this week i've still been gg thru quite a bit of ups and downs. my cca problem is still there and even though i've already been accepted into gavel club, i still need to find another cca. my insecurities and all that are still present at times, even though its getting lesser. and i feel more at ease with my current clasmates. think ytd i just realised that God has really placed me in a great class, with ppl i can connect to and click with. but i just feel quite low down spiritually and emotionally. like just ytd, just b4 i was supposed to meet bojian, i just didnt feel like meeting him and felt like i was too weak to carry on. but i still decided to do it, thank God.

and of course i want to thank God and give Him the glory for my A1 for higher chinese O levels, even though the wkend b4 the test i went for youth service on saturday and sunday service...

just feel that this song really is quite suitable for me at this present state. i just really pray for the faith to carry on thru this period.

Praise You In This Storm
Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

ups and downs

somehow this week i feel that i just went spiritually down, just dropping back into the routine of life again. esp on monday. on monday i was being super spiritually and emotionally unstable, and did quite a number of stupid stuff. just somehow wasnt very conscious of God thruout the whole day, and did a number of stuff i now regret doing. this whole week i just felt so lost and spiritually low. very diff from what i have been experiencing for the past few weeks, when i felt God's presence so close to me, such that i can feel so secure even when others dont talk to me. this week i think i have been very 'social', trying to talk to others around me but neglecting my talking to Him. and the result of that? all my insecurities returning.

talked to joash today. told him abt all these and also what i feel is a lack of passion for God ever since i sort of settled down into sch life and everything got like so familiar. think i sort of just lowered my expectation of what God can do for me and for things around me, and as a result things just started to get into routine, and as a result i just lived my life this week just living it lah. no purpose, no nothing. but that's not what a Christian life is supposed to be! its supposed to be exciting, fun, meaningful, cos of all that God is doing in my life. and definitely i wont need to feel alone with God as my security.

felt God reassuring me during prayer meeting just now. guess all i can do now is pray and let the Holy Spirit guide me

"Neither do men pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved" -Matt 9:17

Am i still holding on to the old wineskin?