handover

haha... handover yesterday. it was gd lah, i guess. dressing suddenly damn shen. dunno y. nvm. its still gd. just seeing geoff recieving the red sash, a lot of thoughts rushed thru me. like, no more the mas and now the ss2. quite a gd feeling. but a lot of burdens also lah. emotional, mental, a lot lah. just felt like crying. dunno y. its just like,i almost cried today during worship in church. dunno y. just so many emotions runnign thru me lah.

i think geoff will do a gd job lah. but very fun to suan him. xD. 'hey, dun be so happy tt u forget we still hv re.' hehe. u shld hv seen his expression. damn farny. just finished our re ppt today. sigh. wrote the script for re ppt, then tmr have to do script for math pt ppt. sianz. writing scripts.

singspiration. dunno lah, just so many things gg thru my mind tt even singspiration is also not very exciting. yet. i mean, its one of the things tt i looked forward to when we take over. like, just at the front, helping to praise god, leading the worship, be it worship leader or musician. thinking abt it today. its like, its a gd thing tt god has put me here. now with singspiration, its like, my involvement in 60th is more spiritual, which is gd, i guess. wif aq and all tt, sth we just forget abt god in our lives. yup. just praying tt He will jsut be able to guide us.

thinking abt it as i slept last nite. i noe tt god always has a message for me whenever i go thru sth. i may have learnt a lot of things thru this episode, but there has still been sth tt has not been removed and its like, troubling me. talking to cheekeen yesterday over dinner wif geoff. a lot of things mentioned, but i think in a way i realised sth tt came out when i was thinking last nite. it is easier to forgive, to love, then to hate. it happened to me in primary sch, and i left cat high with an enemy, and only this yr have i forgiven him. do i want this to happen as i leave ri? i think not. so thank god for ppl like cheeks. jsut learnt so much lah. all those feelings. its like, i was blaming everyone around me. my frens, my seniors, my juniors, myself, even my teachers and the officers council. maybe if i learnt to forgive and forget, i could have saved myself the pain of all tt. the pain of hatred. it was like, i was stabbing myself lah. true, other ppl may be at fault, but what happned has happened. cannot think too much abt it. else i would just be hurting myself more and more. now i understand how ppl can depress themselves til they jump off buildings. sigh

haha. checked. i am no 11 for smo senior section in ri, which means all the s3s and 4s. not bad, rite? damn sad case. i counted. the score was the total score of 1st and 2nd round. if they just counted the 1st round alone, i would have got 5th in ri!!! no... xD. dunno lah, just call myself too n00b lah.

talked to daryl also. set down my expectations, what i expect to achive for the sq, and so on. hope i made myself clear. but i will be hard on daryl lah. guess i wil expect a lot from him. its a joy and a burden lah, the sq. so much i can do and so much i can destroy. nvm. time to reform the sq. after a yr of slacking and almost no sq activity, time to revive it. the hardcore sq2, who has been in it since sq2, must revive the spirit i saw when i was sec1. MUST. ok... maybe more hardcore lanners, but still got discipline, k?