through it all

this period has really been a funny period for me. just feel generally down and unexcited abt anything, and also feel queasy at times, like no appetite and just feel... strange. yeah. dunno y also. perhaps it is the new surroundings and having to adapt to it. all the new ppl and new ways of doing things etc. just feel rather weak and vulnerable at this point, but at the same time i want to fight on, but how? for some reason i just cant find God's direction for me, and just feel so torn apart when it comes to certain things and issues. really not sure how to move on from here.

talked to joash over the phone just now. just told him all that i am going thru and all that i feel. he told me quite a bit of stuff abt how to cope with all these. one major conviction that i felt was in my Word life. somehow its not been very good, and i am using excuses like no time to get thru. but i think today really made me understand what it means when some people tell me they feel so naked leaving their house without having done devotion... perhaps thats y im feeling so strange recently. must do sth abt it...

a lot of things happening this period, but praise God for even the tough times. it has been a lot of lessons to learn from Him...