ups and downs

somehow this week i feel that i just went spiritually down, just dropping back into the routine of life again. esp on monday. on monday i was being super spiritually and emotionally unstable, and did quite a number of stupid stuff. just somehow wasnt very conscious of God thruout the whole day, and did a number of stuff i now regret doing. this whole week i just felt so lost and spiritually low. very diff from what i have been experiencing for the past few weeks, when i felt God's presence so close to me, such that i can feel so secure even when others dont talk to me. this week i think i have been very 'social', trying to talk to others around me but neglecting my talking to Him. and the result of that? all my insecurities returning.

talked to joash today. told him abt all these and also what i feel is a lack of passion for God ever since i sort of settled down into sch life and everything got like so familiar. think i sort of just lowered my expectation of what God can do for me and for things around me, and as a result things just started to get into routine, and as a result i just lived my life this week just living it lah. no purpose, no nothing. but that's not what a Christian life is supposed to be! its supposed to be exciting, fun, meaningful, cos of all that God is doing in my life. and definitely i wont need to feel alone with God as my security.

felt God reassuring me during prayer meeting just now. guess all i can do now is pray and let the Holy Spirit guide me

"Neither do men pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved" -Matt 9:17

Am i still holding on to the old wineskin?