identity

these couple of days God has been speaking to me about my identity in Him and how i act in response to that. the whole week i had been feeling rather dull and a general lack of emotions and i just asked God to show it to me b4 i used the com last night. then i think while i was chatting with sh on msn i felt a sudden rush of emotions. felt that God was just answering my prayer and letting me know the reason why i've been so drained of emotions the whole week. i do not really understand how it all fits in yet, but i think its cos i have not been very true to myself and my feelings in the way i talk and behave. thank God that when i was feeling so lost and confused in my emotions i remembered that i should give joash a call and not just wallow in what i was feeling or just emo around. yup. think that really helped me.

anyway today during my own devotion i was so encouraged by the article for today in Our Daily Bread. felt God was really encouraging me.

God's call to a task includes His strength to complete it

heaven

i was just lying down on my bed last night, stoning. but since my brain is the type that doesnt really become idle, i was thinking about something. heaven. actually the book of revelation intrigues me a lot. how God is going to bring this world to an end, and all things will just fade away. how the dead will just join with the living. i really wonder how it will be like. after just being in earth doing so much stuff, engaging in all sorts of activity the whole of our life, will it be easy to just be able to stop everything and come before God, just letting everything fade away like that?

then will we get to know everyone in heaven? i am trying to imagine HUGE family gatherings. o.o ur father's father's father's father's..... all of that must certainly be very overwhelming. how to get to know so many people at one shot? cant imagine meeting ppl like Billy Graham, Hudson Taylor and Jim Elliot, will i be able to talk to them? and perhaps be so inspired by what they tell me but realize there's nothing i can do about it anymore...

just wondering about the rapture also. such an exciting event that will be happening. but at the same time makes me wonder. are we really ready? i believe that at the happening of the rapture there will definitely be many ppl who r not ready for it. as they are being caught up, will their minds be on how they will never ever be able to finish whatever reports or work they are doing? imagine some football player about to score a historic goal, then suddenly the rapture happens. interesting. i cant believe how sudden it is. it will just happen. in an instant from normal life to heaven. will people look back at what they have suddenly left behind? such a surreal feeling. i wonder if there will be ppl who will be like Lot's wife and look behind even as they r leaving and God will just do something to them like return them back to earth.

quite recently i had a dream of the rapture also. it wasnt really very accurate, i guess, and i think a lot of my imagination went into that dream. but one thing i remember was the strong anticipation i felt when waiting, when i knew i was about to enter into God's presence. somehow everything will just come to an end and fade away and all that's left is us and God together. i really dont understand that, but i guess such things cannot be understood with human minds. maybe thats y God never told us that much about heaven as compared to hell. we wont be able to understand it anyway.

some people have told me that i should not bother thinking about such things and just enjoy my life and live my life. well, i feel that there's nothing wrong about starting with the end in mind. puts everything in perspective, doesnt it? will newton's 3 laws of motion still work out in heaven? hmm quite an interesting question. dont worry, by the way, i'm not having suicidal thoughts. but well, no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has ever conceived the good things God has in store for us, and i guess i wont be able to fully know or even imagine what heaven is like until i reach there. and til then, we see in part

nail pierced hands

As He trudged the road to Calvary
His back it bore the cross
His flesh it bore each whip of pain

As each nail was pierced into His hands
They bled with love and life
For a people who had Him crucified
Still He died for this wretched soul such as I
For a one who had Him crucified

Who can compare with His love
And what can compare to amazing grace
That He gave His life for me
That He opened up my eyes to see

His hands were nailed to the cross
And only these hands can heal my broken soul
Have you ever such a friend?
Have you held His nail pierced hands?

humility

one question that i have been asking myself today: if i really claim that these things were done by God's intervention and not by my own intellect or ability, then why is it that i still continue to try to prove my own ability to myself and others?